#MotivationMondays

It can be so easy to lose track of the present. Without really noticing, days turn into weeks and weeks into months, until all of a sudden you realize that you haven’t made the time to live your life and enjoy yourself. You’ve been so busy working, taking care of the family, making bucket lists, worrying and wearing yourself thin, that you haven’t actually paid any attention to the things that really move you and make you feel passionate about life.

In the grand scheme of things, we spend so little time on this Earth that the mere thought of not making the best of our precious time is ridiculous. Why shouldn’t we make some time to be in the present and remind ourselves that – like Joan Baez says – we actually can decide how we’re going to live?

This simple reminder can help snap us back into the present. Even better, it helps us enjoy what we have and keep striving towards what we want, instead of just anxiously thinking about it.

When we can’t fully live in the present moment, it’s usually because we worry too much about the past or the future, and neither option is good for you. Of course, it’s perfectly fine to wonder about how things might be in years to come or to reflect upon your past experiences. The problem arises when that’s all you’re thinking about.

When you’re obsessed with the past and future, you aren’t doing yourself and those around you any favors. Being stuck in the past or only thinking about the future keeps you from living in the moment… which, if you think about it, is the only thing we really have.

If you’ve decided to stop worrying and enjoy your life for what it is, continue reading so you can turn this theory into practice.

Don’t be too busy for the important things.

Pay attention to yourself and the people you care about. Spending time with your loved ones will naturally make you focus on the present. So throw a gathering for no special reason, treat yourself to a fancy dinner, and don’t miss those birthday parties and special occasions. Make yourself present for the important things right here and now.

Pay attention to your senses.

Make everyday activities a full-on sensory experience. Focus on the way your muscles tense up and release as you do your morning stretches, make your daily shower a luscious experience by being mindful about it, savor the different smells while you’re cooking… the list goes on. When you focus on what your senses perceive, you are living in the present.

Be prepared.

You’ll feel free to enjoy the present if you’re prepared for the future. Create a fund (an old-fashioned piggy bank will do) where you save some money to indulge in fun things. Sometimes, financial struggles are what keeps us up at night: having a special fund that you can use to create enjoyable experiences or treat yourself to mini-luxuries will save you a lot of worry. You can save and spend at the same time as long as you’re conscious about your cash flow — don’t spend more than what you earn.

Now that we’ve discussed how to enjoy living in the moment, we have to address the other elephant in the room: worry.

Here are some actions you can practice to stop worrying so much.

Deal with the past.

Everyone has regrets, but you don’t have to let them take over.

Thinking about what could have been is a surefire way to feel sad and remorseful. While it’s perfectly fine to reminisce about past events you wish would have went differently, don’t let yourself go overboard and live only in memories. Make a conscious effort to recall what you’ve learned from such experiences and let them go.

Deal with negative feelings from the past and acknowledge that, while you can’t change the past, you can change how you perceive them today.

Don’t let feelings of being overwhelmed take over.

Accept that you can’t control everything.

Uncertainty causes a lot of stress, but it’s also a part of everyone’s lives. The truth is that no one really knows what the future holds for us. There are so many things we don’t have control over that there’s simply no point in letting them overwhelm us. The sooner you admit this, the less overwhelmed you’ll feel.

Contrary to what you may think, accepting the hard truth that we don’t know how everything’s going to play out in the end actually offers us the chance to get working on the things we do have some power over, like our actions and attitude.

Worry and be happy.

Granted, this isn’t actually possible at the same time. There will inevitably be some days that you’ll be stressed out and worried. It happens. So please don’t beat yourself up about it.

Give yourself some time to worry… especially if it gives you a push towards taking action. If you don’t want to worry so much, place limits on your worrying. You’d be surprised at how such a simple idea can make people switch perspectives and focus on finding solutions instead of fixating on their problems.

Set a specific period in your day in which you allow yourself to feel worried and write down everything that troubles you. That way, you can plan what to do about it and you won’t have negative thoughts popping up throughout the day.

Time is a tricky thing; sometimes it flies by, yet other times it seems to freeze. But right now, let’s honor the moment by enjoying it as much as we can. Let’s make our lives count. If you’re reading this, it means you’re alive… do you need another reason to stop worrying so much and just enjoy it?

Remember, you decide how you’re going to live… so choose now.

There was once a king who had a great garden full of varied trees, plants, and flowers, which he cared for deeply. One day, he sadly found out that all this plant life was slowly withering. The once-mighty oak confessed it was dying of sorrow since it couldn’t grow as high as the pine tree; the pine admitted it was dying because it couldn’t blossom as roses did; and the roses told the king that they could only dream of being as big as the oak one day.

One thing caught the king’s eye, though: some berries that were happy, juicy, and ripe. Inevitably, the king asked them how they could be in such great condition, given the state of everything else in the garden. The berries replied that they knew that if he didn’t want berries, he wouldn’t have planted them. They knew they couldn’t offer the endurance of the oak, the greatness of the pine tree, or the softness of rose petals. But they could focus on growing and being some amazing berries. So they did the best they could.

And that gesture of love and confidence was so much more that the king ever hoped for.

This is a summarized version of a lovely tale about self-growth and, ultimately, self-worth by Jorge Bucay. He used this tale to encourage people to be true to who they are and to remind them how beautiful everyone is precisely because they’re not like anybody else.

We wanted to share it with you because it carries a message in which we deeply believe: you’re you and cannot be anybody else. Will you let that get you down or will you grow and take care of yourself out of love? In other words, will you blossom or wither?

All of us can identify with those poor plants that let sadness, envy, and longing get the best of them, even though all they needed to do to get what they wanted – to flourish and please their king – was simply to be themselves.

On the other hand, we all have at least some “berry” moments in which we feel proud of who we are and what we’ve accomplished. Focus on those moments every time you’re feeling blue.

Everyone is unique and has different things to offer to the world.

You can, by all means, admire and look up to others, but you couldn’t (and shouldn’t) be exactly like them.

Instead, you can use others as inspiration to dream, explore, and better yourself in whatever way you see fit that is true to your own individuality.

You get what you (think) you deserve.

A lot of times, what really holds us back and keeps us feeling like we’re not enough is a deeply rooted (but mostly subconscious) belief that we don’t deserve what we want or that we’re not worthy of having our own desires.

We have witnessed how people who struggle to manage and organize their finances often have negative thoughts about money and wealth. People assume that they could never be financially stable, build up their savings, or invest in something they’ve always wanted.

At the root of these self-limiting thoughts is the devastating idea that they couldn’t possibly become financially successful… because they’re not worth it. To us, that’s exactly like a beautiful rose feeling sorry about not being as robust as an oak.

Self-worth and financial success are very closely related.

After all, we develop a type of relationship with money since childhood. It’s a mistake to think our relationships — be it with money, friends, partner, or pretty much any other thing — are static and cannot be improved. People can grow and learn. People change, and so do relationships. Thinking about relationships as a fixed thing leaves little room for improvement.

In order to get rid of such limiting beliefs, think of the Growth Mindset.

The Growth Mindset involves actively participating in building and polishing up one’s skillset instead of thinking that those skillset are locked and can’t be improved. It promotes resilience and a positive attitude towards learning.

Its main advocate, Carol Dweck, puts it like this:

“When you enter a mindset, you enter a new world. In one world — the world of fixed traits — success is about proving you’re smart or talented. Validating yourself. In the other — the world of changing qualities — it’s about stretching yourself to learn something new. Developing yourself”

You get what you think you deserve, so work on your mindset and core beliefs and allow yourself to be as successful as you want.

Why should you let your own thoughts limit what you can achieve? Be adventurous when it comes to discovering your talents and developing your skills.

Don’t forget, though, that those same goals we’re encouraging you to achieve should be created independently. It’s your life, so you should be the one calling the shots.

And those areas you need some help with? Those skills you need to improve? Well, channel that Growth Mindset and start taking concrete steps to learn. Forget about other people’s expectations and definitions of success, comfort, and happiness and don’t settle for anything less than yourself.

All you have to contribute to this world (and enjoy it!) is to be yourself. Be like those berries from the story.

Everything you need to live a satisfying, meaningful life is available. The choice is yours.

Are you ready to blossom?

What happens when motivation is nowhere to be found? Most of the time, what happens is that people give up, often without even realizing it. It’s not an easy decision to make, and they don’t typically go, “That’s it. I give up on my dream.”

What does happen is this: they slowly stop taking steps to achieve what they want. They procrastinate and make excuses. They stay in the dreaded comfort zone and blame someone or something else for it.

But what if they didn’t give up?

There are going to be difficulties in your life. When it comes to pursuing your dreams, obstacles are going to happen as well, and you have to evaluate whether your battle is worth fighting for. Put everything into perspective and consider if you’re the one who’s actually standing in your own way.

Ultimately, you’re responsible for your life. So why not travel on the path that you really want to?

There’s no reason why should give up your dreams. After all, dreams let us know what we really desire. That’s why we should pay attention to them, rather than dismissing them so easily. If you’re like most people, you have at least one dream that has always seemed appealing. Some say;

• “I could’ve been a singer” or
• “I’ve always wanted to help others but never figured out how” or
• “I just love painting! But one can’t afford a living just by creating art”

… you get the picture, right?

It’s easy to limit ourselves for a number of complicated (and human) reasons. As a consequence, we often feel trapped and overpowered by everyday tasks.

If you’re about to give up on your dream (whatever it is)… consider asking yourself these questions instead.

– How important is your dream?
To you, that is. Make sure that you’re on the right track by asking yourself this question. You’ll immediately feel the answer. As you think about your dream, you’ll either start feeling stressed and fearful, or eager and a bit excited.

If the road towards your dream didn’t have any complications whatsoever, would you run to it? Or would you still have some hesitations?

– Is it really yours?
Why do you want to achieve this? Sometimes, we want to make others happy so badly that we try to fulfill their expectations instead of ours. That may be one of the reasons we feel like giving up. So, is your dream really yours?

Imagine the best-case scenario in which you achieve your dream: would you feel truly happy? If the answer’s yes, then you’re going after something that really resonates with your heart and soul.

– What’s the worst that could happen?
We all think about how awful it would be to give our best shot at something only to fail. The thought of fear and rejection can be paralyzing. You could stop all these negative feelings by facing them head on.

Think about the worst thing it could happen and compare it to the best thing that could happen. More likely than not, you’ll have a lot more to gain if you give it a go.

– What means do I need to make it happen?
It’s great to dream, but at some point we have to land the plane. In order to fully commit and live the life you want, maybe you’ll need financial help, legal assistance, emotional coaching… whatever it is make an investment in yourself and you won’t regret it.

Once you know your dreams and goals are worth fighting for, proceed to create an action plan. Thinking and reflecting upon your desires will only be effective if you take action. You have to work for it.

Imagine you’re throwing a party. Would you expect it to be the party of the year by imagining it? No! You would call and invite your friends, plan some fun things to do, maybe prepare a special menu… and you’d definitely get up, dress up, and show up. It’s your party!

Honor your heart’s true desires. You’re here to live and maximize your full potential. We all fear rejection and failure, but that shouldn’t stop us from trying out new things and living fully. Dreams mean we have desires, and having desires means that we’re alive.

Go for it.

You don’t have to give up.

We all have hopes, dreams, and goals. We imagine how great it would be to make them all real, but the hard truth is that without actually planning and taking action, our goals will stay daydreams.

However, there are thousands of women who are indeed capable of setting goals and achieving them. So, why should it be any different in your case?

Here’s another truth: you can turn your wishes into reality by action planning. Very few people make it because “they’re just lucky.” Most of the time, great amounts of creativity, perseverance, self-discipline, and positivity are involved in achieving satisfying lives. Having an action plan to follow allows you to focus on your goals and stay on the right track.

So, let’s get right down to it and see what you can do to make your goals happen.

Get real.

Yes, you are capable of designing and redesigning your life as you wish. Feel free to set your goals as high as you want to, but make sure to be realistic when you plan how to achieve them.

Let’s use one of the most common goals as an example: improving your financial status. Making a helpful action plan doesn’t involve simply declaring you want to be financially savvy or writing it down. Sure, those are important baby steps that can help you get clear about what you want and serve as reminders to go get it, but by no means is that a proper action plan.

What you should do:
Break down your main goal into several attainable little goals.

Planning to “improve financial status” is ambiguous, and it may take a long time. If you break it down into smaller goals such as “keep track of my spending habits,” “check my bank account balance once a week,” and “look for savings accounts,” it will help you stay on the right track and keep you motivated because you’ll see yourself taking action sooner.

Planning realistic mini-goals will also help you see that—no matter what your goal is—you can make it happen.

Prioritize.

Most of us don’t just have one goal, but many. Trying to achieve all our goals at the same time while carrying on with our everyday activities can turn out to be very overwhelming.

That’s where prioritization comes in. Getting into the “first things first” state of mind is extremely important.

Time is the most valuable resource you’ve got, so reflect on how you spend it and evaluate if you’re making wise choices.

What you should do:
Focus on what’s really important.

What’s really important to you? Do that first.

Otherwise, you’ll find yourself busy attending to common, everyday stuff (checking e-mail, binge-watching TV, common chores) and by the end of the day, you won’t have spent enough time on what really matters. Once you set your priorities straight, action planning won’t seem so difficult.

Plan from A to Z.

No matter how much positive thinking we practice and how much we plan ahead, sometimes things just don’t turn out the way we want. Most people tend to have a Plan B, in case things don’t work out perfectly, though not so many have a plan Z. That is, having a contingency plan for the absolute worst-case scenario. This may sound counterintuitive, but when you actually think and plan your way out of an undesirable outcome, you can reduce your stress levels.

What you should do:
Take a deep breath and start visualizing what can go wrong with Plan A.

After that, consider your options and have different, concise action plans. In all honesty, doing this can be a bit unpleasant, but once you’re finished, you’ll be prepared for whatever may come. Planning from A to Z will make you feel like you’ve got things together.

Review your progress.

Once you’ve set your heart and mind on a goal, it’s relatively easy to feel motivated and take action.

Let’s say you’ve been saving up some money because that’s your goal. What would happen if you didn’t keep an exact record of your expenses? How much exactly are you saving and what did you give up to save it? What are you planning to do with your savings and how far are you from that “bigger” goal?

If you find yourself unable to answer these questions, you’ll be lacking motivation within a couple of days – no matter how good your intentions may be.

What you should do:
Keep track of your progress.

Review how far you are from your goal and answer the tough questions as needed. If there’s something else you should be doing to move forward, schedule it and do it.

On the other hand, keeping track of your progress will let you know if you’re moving closer to achieving what you want. When that happens, give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back.

Commit.

Wishes require imagination and excitement; goals require commitment.

Motivation and passion won’t always be at an all-time high; that’s why when you truly want something, you’ve got to commit.

Make a promise to yourself, a friend, or the universe: whatever it takes to hold yourself accountable and take responsibility for your own actions.

What you should do:
Find a balance.

There will inevitably be days when you just won’t have the energy or time to take that next step in your action plan. Talk yourself through the rough patches from a loving place, instead of thinking that you won’t be able to accomplish what you want and how much easier it would be to drop everything and stay in your comfort zone.

Remember that you’ve made a commitment and honor your word. Don’t let stress or fear get the best of you. Instead, if you’re feeling lousy, take a no-guilt break to recharge and carry on.

There are no big secrets or magic tricks when it comes to achieving your goals. There’s just a lot of hard work and planning involved. So don’t wait any longer and design a proper plan that allows you to take action.

You are perfectly capable of turning wishes into goals and goals into realities.

Sometimes we know what we want, but we don’t know how to keep our cool in order to get it. Managing our emotions and reactions is a big part of success and general well-being.

Of course, there will inevitably be times in which we feel powerless, because as humans we tend to overthink and overanalyze things to exhaustion. This makes us feel like we don’t really own our experiences and are unable to control what goes on in our lives.

You know what they say…

How much time in our lives do we spend thinking about how badly we’d like to do something, only to find reasons not to? How much time have we spent thinking there’s nothing we can do about certain situations?

When push comes to shove, we forget that our genuine power resides in our ability to respond to different situations in different ways. What we can control is our attitude.

Attitude is everything. I, for one, have been guilty of allowing negative emotions to linger longer that I’d like to. Don’t get me wrong; all emotions, including fear and anger, are natural and can function as a compass to help us discover what we truly want.

But there’s no point in being bitter or holding on to grudges. There’s no point in making excuses rather than creating opportunities for each aspect of our lives that needs a “makeover.”

This is my humble plea:

Let’s use our power. Let’s not overcomplicate our lives. Let’s handle our emotions, attitude, and behavior to improve ourselves and live our lives to the fullest.

Here are some suggestions to start right now.

1. Start your day right.

Always take the time to remind yourself that you get to experience another day. Make the best of it by starting the morning in a way that feels right to you. Invest time in a morning routine that gets you pumped up and ready for what’s to come. Meditating, working out, fixing a special breakfast, some reading or journaling… the possibilities for improving your morning (and therefore your day!) are endless.

Just make sure that you create a routine based on things that are good for you and make you feel happy or satisfied at the same time. A positive morning can give you great peace of mind and you’ll be ready to face the day.

2. Make an effort to keep things simple.

It’s ironic, but sometimes it’s easier to complicate things. Think about it: people fight, worry, and stress over things when they could use that same time to look for solutions instead. Try to keep things as simple as possible and, if things get unnecessarily complicated for you, reach out and ask for help.

The process of becoming financially fit illustrates this point perfectly. Many people struggle to keep track of their finances, savings, and investments. Some people just flat-out say to themselves that they’re just not good with money, as if that was some genetic condition they were born with.

If those same people—instead of giving up and assuming they’ll never reach their financial goals—made an effort to learn money management skills, challenged their beliefs about money, or simply asked for our help, they would save themselves a lot of time and trouble.

The same goes for other skills like cooking and basic self-care like drinking water, exercising, and maintaining healthy relationships: keep things simple and be happy.

3. Check your beliefs.

Behind our actions and emotions are our thoughts and beliefs. One great self-improvement exercise is examining what types of beliefs we’re acting out through our attitudes towards life. For example, if you feel alarmed thinking about the future then it’s very likely that, deep down, you’re afraid something bad will happen. It sounds obvious, but when you actually experience an uneasy emotion, it becomes unbelievably hard to determine why you’re feeling that particular way.

If you tend to get anxious, angry, or sad, don’t be afraid to reassess your own beliefs. There are many situations you can’t change, but you can change what you feel about them by truly challenging your beliefs.

Replace unhealthy and self-limiting thoughts with kind ones.

Always remember that how you talk to yourself is extremely important for your well-being.

Try this approach the next time you get irritated by something silly (like when you’re stuck in a traffic jam). Get used to shifting your focus to the positive side of things and it’ll get easier and easier with time.

4. Face your problems.

You need to take matters into your own hands and take action towards solving your own problems. If you haven’t already, start acting like you’ve got everything under control and handling your stuff (yes, this includes delegating responsibility too!).

At the end of the day, you’re the boss of your own life, so there’s really no reason to not act like one. Respect your skills, abilities, and feelings and use them to your advantage. Face your problems with all you’ve got, and you’ll become empowered by them. There are plenty of ways to get the courage necessary to push yourself into taking positive action. Read our list of tips to boost your self-confidence.

5. Remember just how powerful you are.

Each and every one of us has the ability to experience and try out new things. With the right attitude and frame of mind, you’ll become more aware of your powers until you will feel like you can handle whatever life has in store for you. Don’t stop learning. Don’t stop creating. Don’t stop feeling.

You are more powerful than you think.