Life’s seasons change. For all of us, life is a rollercoaster. Sometimes we’re happy; sometimes we’re sad; and sometimes we wonder how we’ve survived. The only thing we can know for sure is that life is full of both ups and downs.
Sometimes we anticipate life’s turns. Certain changes are foreseeable or desirable. You understand your child will eventually leave home for college, for marriage, or for a new job in another state. You hope to become a grandparent. Perhaps you’ve planned for the day you retire.
It’s the unexpected changes that are hard. No one wants to become a widow. No one wants to lose a job. Few actually want a divorce. These changes are painful. You didn’t expect or want them. These changes blindside you. Often they feel like more than you can bear.
Coping with life’s uncertainties is challenging. One change may lead to another. You may have to move. You may be forced to change goals, change jobs, change friends.
Yet there is one constant in the midst of change: our approach to it. We can choose how we react to change. We can elect to use change to better ourselves, or we can let it defeat us. Allow change to make you better. You can learn to handle this in a healthy way.
Start by releasing your resistance to it.
Let go of the past so you can change the future
Many of us hate change because we gaze at the past with nostalgia. We decide that the way things were must have been better. We do not see that focusing on our personal history stunts our future. Dwelling in the past is tantamount to inviting misery and unhappiness into your life.
Do not let the pain of change make you wallow in self-pity. Do not fear change.
Through change, you grow.
When something hurtful happens, allow yourself a moment to suffer the pain, then, rise. Move on. Pushing through pain allows you to circle back to joy.
Remember that there will always be something that can block your happiness; it’s how you look at that something that counts. Confronting your emotions and rejecting the negative will help you to move on toward your future. More important, when you focus on the future, you circle back to life’s good things.
Discovering a positive approach
Unexpected changes can catch us off guard, but change also gives us the opportunity to better ourselves. Our lives may not be what we had predicted; unexpected events may make us sad or mad. But if we focus on the negative, we lose life’s beauty. Instead of letting the sting of life imprison us in despair, choose hope.
You can have the life you deserve by embracing and rolling with change. When you make this conscious choice, you allow yourself the time and space you need to heal. You learn to appreciate the bad because it led to the good.
If it seems like the bad outweighs the good, sit down and make a list. Put the good on one side and the bad on the other. Over time, you will notice the columns balance.
Remember to keep smiling and you’ll feel better.
Make yourself a promise here and now. Promise yourself that you’ll stop doubting yourself and that you’ll believe in “full circle.”
You are the author of your life; you write every line of your story. Trust that your story will be a best seller. Be happy with who and what you are. You deserve it.
Embrace your friends
Good friendships are give and take. Sometimes when something bad happens, we learn the friendships we have are not what we thought. Develop the courage to see this so you know when to let old friendships go. Perhaps you need to take a breath and wait. Life has a funny way of putting the right friends into our lives at the right time.
Remember that even though you are going through a hard time, your friends may not have it easy either. Your process may include helping another who is going through similar changes. Your life returns to you tenfold when you focus on the needs of others.
Redefine your wealth
We often think about wealth solely in terms of finances.
But being wealthy is so much more. We can be wealthy in our friendships, in our pursuits, and in our life choices.
Wealth is relative. However, if you feel financially insecure, take these steps.
Think about the things you want to do monetarily, then set up a budget. If you’ve never made a budget before, there are many ways to learn. Tools online can help you create one. A financial advisor can also assist. All you need is pen, paper, and information about your income and your expenditures.
Decide where you want to be next week, next month, six months, and a year from now. Allow wiggle room for unexpected changes. Keep to your budget as much as you can. Set small goals and allow yourself small setbacks.
Welcome back to your life
Yes, it takes time to go from stressed to calm. It takes time to get comfortable with a ‘new’ life when the old one takes an odd, unexpected turn.
Take heart. No matter how bad things get, a moment will come when suddenly you’re on top and then over that seemingly insurmountable obstacle.
Your dedication and commitment will always see you through.
You’ll know when you’ve come full circle. It will be a beautiful moment. You’ll gaze back at the road you have travelled and think, “Wow, I made it through.” What once looked like a terrifying path, was actually a short, beautiful passage.
You have the strength and power to change the course of your. You can grow flowers with anything life throws your way. You may walk through mud to get to the garden, but oh, what a lovely garden. Life is an unending circle that includes and is enriched by both sadness and joy.