personal growth

Sometimes we know what we want, but we don’t know how to keep our cool in order to get it. Managing our emotions and reactions is a big part of success and general well-being.

Of course, there will inevitably be times in which we feel powerless, because as humans we tend to overthink and overanalyze things to exhaustion. This makes us feel like we don’t really own our experiences and are unable to control what goes on in our lives.

You know what they say…

How much time in our lives do we spend thinking about how badly we’d like to do something, only to find reasons not to? How much time have we spent thinking there’s nothing we can do about certain situations?

When push comes to shove, we forget that our genuine power resides in our ability to respond to different situations in different ways. What we can control is our attitude.

Attitude is everything. I, for one, have been guilty of allowing negative emotions to linger longer that I’d like to. Don’t get me wrong; all emotions, including fear and anger, are natural and can function as a compass to help us discover what we truly want.

But there’s no point in being bitter or holding on to grudges. There’s no point in making excuses rather than creating opportunities for each aspect of our lives that needs a “makeover.”

This is my humble plea:

Let’s use our power. Let’s not overcomplicate our lives. Let’s handle our emotions, attitude, and behavior to improve ourselves and live our lives to the fullest.

Here are some suggestions to start right now.

1. Start your day right.

Always take the time to remind yourself that you get to experience another day. Make the best of it by starting the morning in a way that feels right to you. Invest time in a morning routine that gets you pumped up and ready for what’s to come. Meditating, working out, fixing a special breakfast, some reading or journaling… the possibilities for improving your morning (and therefore your day!) are endless.

Just make sure that you create a routine based on things that are good for you and make you feel happy or satisfied at the same time. A positive morning can give you great peace of mind and you’ll be ready to face the day.

2. Make an effort to keep things simple.

It’s ironic, but sometimes it’s easier to complicate things. Think about it: people fight, worry, and stress over things when they could use that same time to look for solutions instead. Try to keep things as simple as possible and, if things get unnecessarily complicated for you, reach out and ask for help.

The process of becoming financially fit illustrates this point perfectly. Many people struggle to keep track of their finances, savings, and investments. Some people just flat-out say to themselves that they’re just not good with money, as if that was some genetic condition they were born with.

If those same people—instead of giving up and assuming they’ll never reach their financial goals—made an effort to learn money management skills, challenged their beliefs about money, or simply asked for our help, they would save themselves a lot of time and trouble.

The same goes for other skills like cooking and basic self-care like drinking water, exercising, and maintaining healthy relationships: keep things simple and be happy.

3. Check your beliefs.

Behind our actions and emotions are our thoughts and beliefs. One great self-improvement exercise is examining what types of beliefs we’re acting out through our attitudes towards life. For example, if you feel alarmed thinking about the future then it’s very likely that, deep down, you’re afraid something bad will happen. It sounds obvious, but when you actually experience an uneasy emotion, it becomes unbelievably hard to determine why you’re feeling that particular way.

If you tend to get anxious, angry, or sad, don’t be afraid to reassess your own beliefs. There are many situations you can’t change, but you can change what you feel about them by truly challenging your beliefs.

Replace unhealthy and self-limiting thoughts with kind ones.

Always remember that how you talk to yourself is extremely important for your well-being.

Try this approach the next time you get irritated by something silly (like when you’re stuck in a traffic jam). Get used to shifting your focus to the positive side of things and it’ll get easier and easier with time.

4. Face your problems.

You need to take matters into your own hands and take action towards solving your own problems. If you haven’t already, start acting like you’ve got everything under control and handling your stuff (yes, this includes delegating responsibility too!).

At the end of the day, you’re the boss of your own life, so there’s really no reason to not act like one. Respect your skills, abilities, and feelings and use them to your advantage. Face your problems with all you’ve got, and you’ll become empowered by them. There are plenty of ways to get the courage necessary to push yourself into taking positive action. Read our list of tips to boost your self-confidence.

5. Remember just how powerful you are.

Each and every one of us has the ability to experience and try out new things. With the right attitude and frame of mind, you’ll become more aware of your powers until you will feel like you can handle whatever life has in store for you. Don’t stop learning. Don’t stop creating. Don’t stop feeling.

You are more powerful than you think.

Usually we start a new year with a mind full of resolutions and a heart full of hope. As time passes, we realize that the year is not so new anymore and maybe even worse, things aren’t looking so new either. It ends up being the same as the year before and that “to-do” list is still waiting to be crossed out.

It happens to all of us. We tend to stick to old routines and old feelings—sometimes out of habit and other times out of fear.

Here’s some good news though: it doesn’t have to be like that.

You don’t have to feel bad if you didn’t start your resolutions on January 1st, or if you skipped your Monday workout. There isn’t any rule on when you need to take charge of your own life and feel accomplished.

You can do all those things that your mind and soul are asking for right now. Right here and now is what matters, so make this year, your year… right now.

Don’t wait for life’s opportunities to present themselves on a silver platter; create your own luck instead.

There’s this short but meaningful letter going around online:

It may seem simple but take a second look. Read it to yourself and be mindful of its words. It’s a love letter that acknowledges the power you have to turn your whole year around. If you’re skeptical of the impact simple words and affirmations can have on your whole outlook towards life, look a little deeper.

In fact, let’s break down the meaning of that deceivingly simple letter and uncover its empowering message.

Be kind to yourself

How you talk to yourself matters. Your inner-voice matters. Cultivate it and let it kindly guide you. Between thinking “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. I’m going to own it” and thinking “What’s the point? I’ve failed once before” there’s a world of difference. In fact, self-affirmations have been proven to calm people’s nerves and, as a result, it allows them to perform better throughout the day.

You may not always be able to control your thoughts and emotions; however, that doesn’t mean that you can’t do your best to try. Start your day with some self-love and remind yourself that you’re capable of facing life’s challenges, because deep down, you know you are.

Treat yourself kindly, like you would treat and speak to a dear friend, and you’ll quickly notice a positive difference in your attitude.

As author Steve Maraboli wisely put it: “The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.”

Get clear on what you want

“This is going to be your year” can mean something different for everybody. What exactly would make this your year?

Take a moment and get really honest with yourself. What would you like to accomplish this year? And, more importantly, how do you want to feel? Give these questions some thoughtful minutes and the answers will come to you. Don’t force this process though. If you’re not feeling quite on the right mind space, sleep on it.

The important thing here is to get clear on what you want.

More good news: you already know what you want and desire. Give yourself permission to find out what exactly will make this year your year and own it.

You know what they say… “It’s better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than at the top of the one you don’t.”

Take action.

Action is the key word in all of this. It’s important to know what you want to achieve and how you want to feel, but ultimately, all the self-affirmations, wish lists and meditation practices won’t amount to anything if you don’t take action.

A lot of people wait until they feel ready to start doing whatever they set their minds on. And really, who could blame them? It’s a common misconception to think that until you’re fully inspired and prepared, you can’t start tackling your goals and dreams. The hard truth is that, most of the time, it’s the other way around. By taking action, you become experienced and inspired.

Do you want to achieve financial freedom? Budget now and start getting rid of debt instead of waiting for a sudden income increase. Do you want to be fit and healthy? Work out now and start eating healthy right this moment instead of waiting for Monday to “start the week right.”

Whatever it is you want, take that first step. In the words of author and motivational speaker Zig Ziglar: “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”

So dust yourself off and get started.

Speaking of starting things up, it’s time for a little challenge: write your own letter. Whether you’re reading this during a mini-break from a hectic day or during a lazy web-surfing afternoon, open up a file or go get a pen and write yourself a kind letter that inspires you to take action.

Follow the steps we mentioned or add in a couple of your own steps. It doesn’t have to be long and it doesn’t have to be difficult. It just has to be honest and kind.

Ready?

Write it. Read it. Mean it. Finish your challenge by taking a really deep breath.
Surely, you’ll notice a difference in your mood because words truly matter. Let your words inspire action.

As a final note, remember to stay motivated. You better believe that your words and actions matter (because they do), but, even if that’s already the case, you may find yourself struggling from time to time. Life just likes to throw us some curve balls once in a while.

So, whenever you feel cluttered and confused about how to achieve what you want, find motivation within yourself by rediscovering what you truly desire with our three steps: Be kind to yourself. Get clear on what you want. Take action.

Or… write an empowering love letter that reminds you this is going to be your year.