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Women: Living in the Sandwich Generation

At a time when your career is reaching a peak and you are looking ahead to your own retirement, you may find yourself in the position of having to help your children with college expenses or the financial challenges of young adulthood while at the same time looking after the needs of your aging parents.

Squeezed in the middle, you’re in the “sandwich generation”–a group loosely defined as people in their 40s to 60s who are “sandwiched” between caring for children and aging parents.

The fact is, women are the ones who most often step into the caregiving role.* As more women have children later in life and more parents live longer lives, the ranks of the sandwich generation are likely to grow in the years ahead.

If you find yourself sandwiched between caregiving demands, here are some strategies to navigate this life phase.

Setting priorities

The day-to-day demands of caring for both an aging parent and children can put a tremendous strain–both emotional and financial–on the primary caregiver.

This is especially true when adult siblings or family members don’t agree on the best course of action for elder care, don’t pitch in to do their share, or don’t contribute enough financially to the cost of that care.

The first thing to do is get yourself in the proper mindset. This life phase could last one or two years, or it could last many more. In any case, try to treat this stage as a marathon and pace yourself; you don’t want to start sprinting right out of the gate and burn out too soon.

Encourage open communication with your family to figure out ways to share the financial, emotional, and time burdens. Hold regular meetings to discuss issues, set priorities, and delegate tasks.

Women are often conditioned to believe they have to “do it all,” but there is no reason why adult siblings (if you have any) can’t share at least some of the workload.

It’s important for caregivers to get their own financial house in order. Ironically, at the very time you need to do this, the demands of caregiving may cause you to lose income because you have to step back at work–through reduced hours, unpaid time off, or turning down a promotion. Here are some tips to get your finances on track:

  • Establish a budget and stick to it
  • Keep your debt under control. Consumer debt (i.e., car payments, credit cards) should account for no more than 20% of your take-home pay.
  • Invest in your own future by putting as much as you can into your retirement plan, and avoid raiding it to pay for your parent’s care or your child’s college education.
  • Don’t quit your job before exploring other arrangements. If you need more time at home than vacation or personal days can provide, ask your employer if you can telecommute, flex your hours, reduce your hours temporarily, or take unpaid leave.Another option is to enroll your parent in an adult day-care program or hire a home health aide to fill the gaps. Some employers offer elder-care resource locators or other caregiving support as an employee benefit, so make sure to check.Permanently leaving your job should be a last resort–time out of the workforce will reduce not only your earnings but possibly your Social Security benefit at retirement as well.

Caring for your parents

Talk to your parents about their financial resources. Do they have retirement income? Long-term care insurance? Do they own their home? Learn the whereabouts of all their documents and accounts, as well as the financial professionals and friends they rely on for advice and support.

Much depends on whether your parent is living with you or out of town. If your parent lives a distance away, you’ll have to monitor his or her welfare from afar–a challenging task.

Though caregiving can be a major stress on anyone, distance can magnify it–daily phone calls or video chats might not be enough, and traveling to your parent’s home can be expensive and difficult to manage with your work and family responsibilities.

If your parent’s needs are great enough, you may want to consider hiring a geriatric care manager, who can help oversee your parent’s care and direct you to the right community resources, and/or a home health aide, who can check in on your parent during the week.

Here are some things you should do:

  • Take inventory of your parent’s assets and consolidate his or her financial accounts.
  • Get a current list of the medicines your parent takes and the doctors he or she sees.
  • Have your parent establish a durable power of attorney and health-care directive, which gives you legal authority to handle financial and health-care decisions if your parent becomes incapacitated. And make sure your parent has a will.
  • Consider consulting a tax professional to see if you might be entitled to potential tax benefits as a result of your caregiving; for example, you might be able to claim your parent as a dependent.
  • If your parent’s needs are great enough, you might need to go a step further and explore assisted-living options or nursing homes.

Eventually, you might decide that your parent needs to move in with you.

In that case, here are some suggestions to make that transition:

  • Talk with your parent in advance about both of your expectations and concerns.
  • If possible, set up a separate room and phone for your parent for some space and privacy.
  • Research local programs to see what resources are offered for seniors; for example, the senior center may offer social gatherings or adult day care that can give you a much needed break.
  • Ask and expect adult siblings to help out. Siblings who may live far away and can’t help out physically on a regular basis, for example, can make a financial contribution that can help you hire assistance. They can also research assisted-living or nursing home options. Don’t try to do everything yourself.
  • Keep the lines of communication open, which can go a long way to the smooth running of your multigenerational family.

Meeting the needs of your children

Your children may be feeling the effect of your situation more than you think, especially if they are teenagers.

At a time when they still need your patience and attention, you may be preoccupied with your parent’s care, meeting your work deadlines, and juggling your financial obligations.

Here are some things to keep in mind as you try to balance your family’s needs:

  • Explain what changes may come about as you begin caring for your parent. Talk honestly about the pros and cons of having a grandparent in the house, and be sympathetic and supportive of your children (and your spouse) as they try to adjust. Ask them to take responsibility for certain chores, but don’t expect them to be the main caregivers.
  • Discuss college plans. Encourage realistic expectations about the college they may be able to attend. Your kids may have to settle for less than they wanted, or at least get a job to help meet costs.
  • Teach your kids how to spend wisely and set financial priorities
  • Try to build in some special time with your children doing an activity they enjoy.
  • If you have “boomerang children” who’ve returned home, make sure to share your expectations with them, too. Expect help with chores (above and beyond their own laundry and meal prep), occasional simple caregiving, and a financial contribution to monthly household expenses.

Considering your needs

This stage of your life could last many years, or just a few. Try to pace yourself so you can make it for the long haul.

As much as you can, try to get adequate sleep, eat nutritiously, and exercise–all things that will increase your ability to cope. Don’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself when you need it, whether it’s a couple of hours holed up with a book or out to the movies, or a longer weekend getaway.

The day-to-day demands of caring for an aging parent and children can put a tremendous strain–both emotional and financial–on the primary caregiver. Be sure to set priorities and encourage open communication with your entire family to figure out ways to share the burdens.

According to the Alzheimer’s Association report, 2016 Alzheimer’s Disease Facts and Figures, approximately two-thirds of caregivers are women.

When you put your own needs first occasionally and look after yourself, you’ll be in a better position to care for those around you.

*Alzheimer’s Association report, 2016 Alzheimer’s Disease Facts and Figures

 

Important Disclosure

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Money Confidence Podcast Episode 9: The Blunt Truth About Financial Compatibility Before Marriage

Personal Money Trainer, author and speaker, Crystal Oculee, empowers women to get money confident with tips, advice, stories and special guest interviews. From the basics of budgeting to getting to the bottom of retirement vehicles – you’ll get insightful information you can turn into major savings and smart investments!

LISTEN  ON ITUNES: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-9-blunt-truth-about-financial-compatibility/id1208123298?i=1000384439560

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL LEARN:

  • Ways To Have The “Money Talk” With Your Significant Other (Without It Turning Into A Fight)
  • One Common Mistake Couples Make
  • Why Having The Money Dialogue Can Avoid Other Painful “Talks” In The Future
  • Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Avoid Talking About Money
  • How To Identify Financial Red Flags Before Marriage
  • Financial Questions To Ask Your Partner In Any Stage Of Your Relationship
  • Bonus: The Budget Game (A Fun Way To Start The Dialogue)

Don’t Stop Here – Check Out These FREE Tools!  

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Money Issues That Concern Married Couples
http://www.pljincome.com/money-issues-that-concern-married-couples/

Top 5 Financial FAQ for Married Women
http://www.pljincome.com/top-5-faq-married-women/

Merging Your Money When You Marry
http://www.pljincome.com/merging-money-marry/

What To Do When a Saver Marries a Spender
http://www.pljincome.com/what-to-do-when-a-saver-marries-a-spender/

 

Get to Know Crystal – and Email Her With Questions! (She might answer it on the podcast.)

AskCrystal@PLJincome.com

http://www.pljincome.com/crystal-oculee/

 

If you like our Money Confidence Podcast, be sure to leave a review on iTunes!

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I get so many credit card reward offers. How do I know which one to choose?

Credit card reward programs are more popular than ever. In order to keep up with such high demand in a competitive market, credit card companies are coming up with new and more enticing offers every day. How do you know which one to choose?

Are you the type of credit card user who likes to travel and/or frequent a particular hotel or airline?

If so, then a travel rewards credit card might be the right option for you. Typically, a travel rewards card allows you to earn points (sometimes referred to as miles, depending on the card) for every purchase you make on the card.

Typically, cards offer a reward that is equal to 1% of your purchase, which means that for every $100 you spend, you will earn 1 point or mile. Some credit card companies offer even greater incentives, such as double points for specific types of purchases or bonus points when you open up an account.

Before signing up, however, be sure to read the fine print. Many travel rewards cards have specific rules that apply to point redemption and may charge a hefty annual fee.

Don’t want the hassle that sometimes goes along with redeeming points on a travel rewards card?

Consider a cash back rewards card. While not as thrilling as racking up points to take a trip to some far-off, exotic destination, cash back rewards cards may be better for individuals who aren’t frequent travelers and who tend to use credit cards for everyday purchases.

Most cash back rewards cards offer a flat cash reward on general purchases. Others offer higher rewards for different spending categories (e.g., dining or entertainment purchases). Consider your credit card spending habits to determine which cash back rewards card would be appropriate for you.

Finally, it’s important to remember that rewards cards work best when you pay off your account balance each month. Be sure to charge only what you can afford to pay off and avoid spending over your budget just to earn more rewards.

Otherwise, the unpaid balance you carry forward will create finance charges that may cancel out the value of any rewards you accumulate.

 

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Will vs Trust: Is One Better Than the Other?

When it comes to planning your estate, you might be wondering whether you should use a will or a trust (or both).

Understanding the similarities and the differences between these two important documents may help you decide which strategy is better for you.

What is a will?

A will is a legal document that lets you direct how your property will be dispersed (among other things) when you die.

It becomes effective only after your death. It also allows you to name an estate executor as the legal representative who will carry out your wishes.

In many states, your will is the only legal way you can name a guardian for your minor children. Without a will, your property will be distributed according to the intestacy laws of your state.

Keep in mind that wills and trusts are legal documents generally governed by state law, which may differ from one state to the next.

What is a trust?

A trust document establishes a legal relationship in which you, the grantor or trustor, set up the trust, which holds property managed by a trustee for the benefit of another, the beneficiary.

A revocable living trust is the type of trust most often used as part of a basic estate plan. “Revocable” means that you can make changes to the trust or even end (revoke) it at any time.

For example, you may want to remove certain property from the trust or change the beneficiaries. Or you may decide not to use the trust anymore because it no longer meets your needs.

A living trust is created while you’re living and takes effect immediately. You may transfer title or “ownership” of assets, such as a house, boat, automobile, jewelry, or investments, to the trust. You can add assets to the trust and remove assets thereafter.

How do they compare?

While both a will and a revocable living trust enable you to direct the distribution of your assets and property to your beneficiaries at your death, there are several differences between these documents.

Here are a few important ones.

  • A will generally requires probate, which is a public process that may be time-consuming and expensive. A trust may avoid the probate process.
  • In order to exclude assets from probate, you must transfer them to your revocable trust while you’re living, which may be a costly, complicated, and tedious process.
  • Unlike a will, a trust may be used to manage your financial affairs if you become incapacitated.
  • If you own real estate or hold property in more than one state, your will would have to be filed for probate in each state where you own property or assets. Generally, this is not necessary with a revocable living trust.
  • A trust can be used to manage and administer assets you leave to minor children or dependents after your death.
  • In a will, you can name a guardian for minor children or dependents, which you cannot do with a trust.

Which is appropriate for you?

The decision isn’t necessarily an “either/or” situation. Even if you decide to use a living trust, you should also create a will to name an executor, name guardians for minor children, and provide for the distribution of any property that doesn’t end up in your trust.

There are costs and expenses associated with the creation and ongoing maintenance of these legal instruments.

Whether you incorporate a trust as part of your estate plan depends on a number of factors. Does your state offer an informal probate, which may be an expedited, less expensive process available for smaller estates?

Generally, if you want your estate to pass privately, with little delay or oversight from a probate court, including a revocable living trust as part of your estate plan may be the answer.

 

Important Disclosure
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Money Issues That Concern Married Couples

Marriage is an important step in anyone’s life and brings many challenges with it. One of those challenges is the management of your finances as a couple.

The money decisions that you make now as a couple can have a lasting impact on your financial future together. Careful planning of your finances can ensure that together, you achieve financial success.

1. Budgeting your money

► In general

When you were single, you managed your finances in a way that was comfortable for you and that you understood–no one had to approve or disapprove of your financial decisions.

Now that you are married, however, both you and your spouse have to agree on a system for budgeting your money and paying your bills.

► Discuss financial situations

You and your spouse must discuss your respective financial situations and expectations, and take stock of your individual assets (what you own) and liabilities (what you owe).

Revealing your financial situation is an important step when budgeting as a couple. If either of you has a financial problem, it is best to identify it now and begin solving it together.

This is the time to address questions such as what do each of you earn, and what additional sources of income do you have? What do you own? Will both of you work now that you are married?

Who will hold title to property acquired before and after the wedding? In addition, be sure to disclose all of your financial commitments. If you pay child support, let your partner know the amounts. If you have to repay student loans, discuss that as well.

► Discuss financial goals

After you discuss your financial situations, you should discuss your financial goals. You can start by each making a list of your short- and long-term financial goals.

Short-term goals are those that can take anywhere from three to five years (e.g., saving for a down payment on a home or a new car). Long-term goals are those that take more than five years to achieve (e.g., saving for a child’s college education or retirement).

When you have each determined your individual financial goals, you should review your goals together to achieve common objectives.

You can then focus your energy on those common objectives and strive to attain those goals (short- and long-term) together.

► Decide on the type of bank account(s) you will keep

Decide whether you and your spouse will have separate bank accounts or a joint account.

Advantages to consolidating your checking funds into one account include easier record-keeping, reduced maintenance fees, less paperwork when you apply for a loan, and simplified money management.

If you do choose to keep separate accounts, consider opening a joint checking account for household expenses.

Caution: When sharing a checking account, be sure to keep track of how much money is in the account at all times since both of you will be writing checks that draw from the same account.

► Prepare an annual budget

The first step in developing a financial future together as a couple is to prepare an annual budget.

The budget will be a detailed listing of all your income and expenses over the period of a year.

You may want to designate one spouse to be in charge of managing the budget, or you can take turns keeping records and paying bills.

Tip: Make sure that you develop a record-keeping system that both you and your spouse understand. Also, keep your records in a joint filing system so that you can easily locate important documents.

  • Begin with your sources of income–list salaries and wages, alimony and child support, interest, and any other form of income that you and your spouse may have.
  • List your expenses. It may be helpful to review several months’ worth of entries in each of your checkbooks to be sure that you include everything. Put all the expenses that are paid monthly into one category, and put all other expenses (every other month, quarterly, semiannually, annually) into another. Some common expenses are:
  • Savings
  • Rent or mortgage payments
  • Student loan payments
  • Groceries
  • Pet care
  • Utilities
  • Car payments
  • Credit card payments
  • Alimony/child support
  • Household items
  • Personal care/grooming
  • Major purchases
  • Insurance
  • Car repairs
  • Clothing
  • Tax payments
  • Medical expenses
  • Gifts
  • Automobile gas
  • Child day care
  • Entertainment/dining out
  • Estimate your expenses for each category. How much money do you spend on these items on a monthly basis and on an annual basis? Try to come up with a realistic amount for what you think you will spend in a year’s time. Add another category to the irregular expenses list, and call it Contingencies. This can be a catchall category for expenses that you might not anticipate or budget for. The amount to budget for contingencies should be about 5 percent of your total budget.
  • Add your sources of cash and uses of cash on an annual basis. Hopefully, you get a positive number, meaning that you are spending less than you are earning. If not, review your expense list to determine where you can cut your spending. Consider using computer spreadsheets or programs like Quicken for assistance.

► Create a cash flow system

After you have developed a budget, you should create a system for managing your monthly inflow and outflow of cash.

It is a good idea for both you and your spouse to become involved in this process–at least at first–so that both of you have a clear understanding of the costs of running the family and household.

Cash flow systems like the one described below are simple and painless to operate.

Once they are established, you will find that making financial decisions becomes much easier because you have done your homework.

  • Separate your regular monthly expenses from irregular expenses (every other month, quarterly, semiannually, annually) by using a different bank account for each. Otherwise, you may be tempted to use money that has been earmarked for something else. You should limit the number of checking accounts that you have in order to avoid confusion.
  • Each time you get paid, deposit some money into an account for irregular expenses. The amount of money you deposit should be equal to the total amount needed for the irregular expenses, divided by the number of paychecks you each receive annually. In so doing, you will have the money for the outlay when it arises. The rest of your pay should go into your checking account, to be used for regular monthly expenses and savings.
  • One variation to this system of cash flow management is to establish one or two additional bank accounts for one or both of you for personal spending money. Allocate the budgeted amount for personal expenses (e.g., lunches, haircuts, gifts) to this account. This way, you are free to spend the money in this account in any way you like without having to worry about meeting regular monthly expenses. However, all of these bank accounts may have fees.

2. Saving and investing your money

► In general

At some point in your married life, you will almost certainly encounter some large expenditures, such as a new home, your own business, or a college education for your children.

Chances are, you won’t be able to meet these expenditures from your current income. You and your spouse must discipline yourselves to set aside a portion of your current income for saving and investing your money to ensure its steady growth or, at the very least, protect it against loss.

► Save a percentage of your earnings

When figuring out your budget, savings should be considered one of your monthly expenses. Think of savings as a fixed payment (like a car payment) that must be made every month.

If you don’t and you wait until the end of the month to save whatever you have not spent, you’ll find that nothing ever seems to go into your savings account.

A good rule of thumb is for you and your spouse to save 4 to 9 percent of your combined gross earnings while you are in your 20s and then double that savings percentage as you reach your 30s and 40s.

In some cases, a dual-income couple may be able to live off one spouse’s salary and save the other salary.

Example(s): Mary and Richard, a married couple in their 20s, earn a combined annual gross income of $60,000. Together, Mary and Richard save 5 percent of their combined gross income each year, or $3,000.

Example(s): As another example, Christine and Tom, a married couple in their 30s, earn a combined annual gross income of $80,000. Together, Christine and Tom save 10 percent of their combined gross income each year, or $8,000.

► Build an emergency cash reserve

The savings that you accumulate can serve as an emergency cash reserve. Ideally, you should have in savings an amount that is comfortable for you to fall back on in case of an emergency, such as a job loss.

A common formula used for calculating a safe emergency fund amount is to multiply your total monthly expenses by 6. When determining how much cash should be in your emergency fund, a major factor is your comfort level.

If you and your spouse feel secure with your jobs and are confident that if you lost your current jobs you would be able to find a new one fairly quickly, an emergency fund of three times your monthly expenses should be sufficient.

However, if either of you has an unpredictable income, you may want to have an emergency fund that is equal to 12 times your monthly expenses.

Example(s): Christine and Tom, a married couple in their 30s, plan to build up an emergency cash reserve. Both Christine and Tom are attorneys and feel quite secure with their present jobs. Christine and Tom have monthly expenses of $3,000 and plan to build up an emergency cash reserve that is equal to 3 times their monthly expenses, or $9,000 ($3,000 x 3).

Example(s): As another example, Mary and Richard, a married couple in their 20s, plan to build up an emergency cash reserve. Both Mary and Richard are employed as freelance writers and feel that their incomes are at times unpredictable. Mary and Richard have monthly expenses of $1,500 and plan to build up an emergency cash reserve that is equal to 12 times their monthly expenses, or $18,000 ($1,500 x 12).

► Investing your money

When you have established an emergency cash reserve, you can begin to invest your money to target your financial goals.

There are three fundamental types of investments: cash and cash alternatives, bonds, and equities. Cash and cash alternatives are relatively low-risk investments that can be readily converted into currency, such as money market accounts.

Bonds, sometimes called debt instruments, are essentially IOUs; when you invest in a bond, you’re lending money to the bond’s issuer–usually a corporation or governmental body–which pays interest on that loan.

Because bonds make regular payments of interest, they are also known as income investments. Equities, or stocks, give you a share of ownership in a company.

You have the opportunity to share in the company’s profits and potential growth, which is why they’re often viewed as growth investments. However, equities involve greater risk than either cash or income investments.

With equities, there is no guarantee you will receive any income or that your shares will ever increase in value, and you can lose your entire investment.

In addition to these three basic types of investments–also known as asset classes–there are so-called alternative investments, such as real estate, commodities, and precious metals.

No matter what your investment goal, your overall objective is to maximize returns without taking on more risk than you can bear.

You’ll need to choose investments that are consistent with your financial goals and time horizon.

A financial professional can help you construct an investment portfolio that takes these factors into account.

Click here to get more information from our affiliate company PLJ Advisors.

3. Establishing good credit

► In general

Establishing good credit is an important step in the path towards a solid financial future. A good credit history can enable you to make credit purchases for items that you might not otherwise be able to afford.

Most creditors will require a good credit history before extending credit to you. If you do not have a credit history, it is important to establish one as soon as possible. If you have a poor credit history, you should take steps toward improving it right away.

► Individual or joint credit

Married couples can either apply for credit individually or jointly. One of the benefits of applying for joint credit is that both you and your spouse’s income, expenses, and financial stability are considered when a creditor evaluates your overall financial picture.

However, applying for separate credit has its advantages. If you and your spouse ever run into financial problems (e.g., illness or job layoff), separate credit allows one spouse to risk damaging his or her credit history while preserving the other spouse’s good credit.

In addition, separate credit can also protect you and your spouse from each other. If you and your spouse cosign a loan or apply for a credit card, you are both responsible for 100 percent repayment of the debt.

In other words, if your spouse does not pay his or her share, you can get stuck with paying the whole amount. On the other hand, if your spouse takes out a loan or applies for a credit card on his or her own, generally your spouse is solely responsible for the debt.

Tip: While the general rule is that spouses are not responsible for each other’s debts, there are exceptions.

Many states will hold both spouses responsible for a debt incurred by one spouse if the debt constituted a family expense (e.g., child care or groceries).

In addition, in some community property states, both spouses may be responsible for one spouse’s debts, since both spouses have equal rights to each other’s incomes.

You may want to discuss your state’s laws with an attorney if you live in a community property state.

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