personal growth

Kindness and gratitude are subjects that we just love to talk about, mainly because when you incorporate them into your life, not only are you adding much-needed positivity to the world, you are also nurturing yourself.

Being kind and grateful positively impacts those around you and makes you happier. Studies have shown that people who are generally thankful are less prone to anxiety and depression symptoms. But you don’t really need studies to know this.

Just think about the last time you were kind to someone without expecting anything in return or the last time you felt truly blessed.

How would you describe your mood during and after those actions? If you had to associate kindness and gratitude with a feeling, what feeling would it be?

In a word association game, many people linked kindness with words like compassion, love, and charity. That’s pretty good company.

The act of giving is humble. It promotes social interaction and, even better, it makes you feel good. For these reasons, we are going to tell you how to create a kindness cycle in your own life.

Create a kindness cycle.

Kindness creates a ripple effect, and this one is all about positivity and hope! When you perform a sincere act of kindness, no matter how big or small, people around you will be influenced by it and possibly perform other acts of kindness by themselves.

All of this may seem a bit cheesy, but it’s absolutely real. Much like when someone’s laugh is so pure that everyone in the room feels the joy and starts to laugh as well, when you act out of kindness, you inspire others to do the same.

Usually the more kindness you practice, the more productive and appreciative you’ll feel. There’s just something about being of service to others that triggers positive feelings and thoughts. It makes us feel connected to one another and capable of giving love.

Kindness is wealth.

Kindness doesn’t have to cost a penny, but it does make you rich. Realizing just how much abundance you have now will give you the motivation to improve yourself in all aspects, including your economic situation.

If you’re satisfied with what you have, you won’t feel the need to buy and spend more.

If your financial needs are covered, you will be less stressed and thus more receptive of your spiritual needs. If you don’t have to worry about making ends meet in the future, you will have more time to enjoy the present.

Sure, money isn’t everything, but it also isn’t the villain of the story, like some people make it out to be. Like spiritual guide Osho said: “If you are happy and you have money, you will become more happy. If you are unhappy and you have money, you will become more unhappy because what will you do with your money?”

When you treat those around you (yourself included) in a generous way, you’ll see how the cycle starts. We’re not talking about the law of attraction here. We’re talking about a conscious decision to enjoy giving and treating others with dignity.

Kindness can completely turn a day around. We all have bad times and we’ve all been through some rough battles. Being able to face challenges with a gentle spirit makes us stronger and wealthier.

Kindness transforms into wealth: literally and figuratively.

Giving requires boundaries.

We firmly believe that kindness makes a difference. However, the act of giving – like pretty much everything else – requires healthy boundaries.

If you give and give and give without any regard for your own wellbeing, you’ll end up feeling spent and unappreciated. Sometimes we need time to recharge, and sometimes we’re the ones who need to experience someone else’s kind acts to activate the cycle.

Please do this out of joy rather than expectations of getting something back, which is a sure way to create resentment and harvest unpleasant feelings. Be as generous as you can as long as it feels right for you. Always remember that before you help others, you must first help yourself.

How to start the cycle.

So how can you incorporate more kindness today?

Here are just some of the easiest ideas we came up with, but please do feel free to continue this list (and pass it on).

– Volunteer. At an animal shelter, a food bank, or any other charity. You can make a contribution by offering more than money; you can offer time, compassion, and expertise.

– Compliment someone and really mean it.

– Leave a generous tip.

– Offer your best advice on an online forum.

– Leave a great online review of your favorite local restaurant.

– Write a letter to a friend, family member, or partner and get specific about all the things you love about them.

– While you’re at it, write yourself one of those letters too. Self-compassion matters.

– Always say “please” and “thank you” – you’ll be surprised at the happiness this can create.

– Make a special playlist and dedicate it to someone.

– Apologize when you make a mistake.

– Be present when you meet with somebody. Leave your phone in your purse or pocket.

– Bake some healthy treats and give them away at a children’s hospital.

– Visit a nursing home and share stories with seniors.

– Forgive a person who has harmed you and let go.

– Smile.

Start the kindness cycle!

When it comes down to it, everybody wants to be successful. Whether discussing career plans, relationship goals, financial status, or dozens of other things, the word success tends to appear quite often.

But what exactly is success?

The most basic dictionary definition is this: success is the achievement of desired results. Sounds kind of dry, huh?

It takes just a bit of life experience to understand that success is actually a very subjective concept. Sometimes, even when we’ve achieved some of our goals, we don’t actually feel successful. This usually happens when we buy into another person’s definition of success, rather than creating our own.

Here’s the main reason why you should redefine what success is to you: following a standard definition of success can end up making you fail.

Sure, we all have had a couple (or even multiple!) failures, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Failure is part of life. The problem arises when you’re trying to fulfill someone else’s expectations and when you aspire to become successful under their own terms and conditions.

This leads to setting you back on your true personal goals. That’s not the type of failure that ultimately teaches you a lesson and leaves you feeling wiser; that’s the kind of failure that can drain your confidence little by little… and that is something you can definitely avoid.

You’re you. You’re the only you there is, so why should you follow someone’s cookie-cutter idea of success? Redefine what success means to you.

Here are three steps that can help you create your own version of success.

1. Get personal.

Take some time to yourself and contemplate the things that would make you feel successful. Since this is such a broad concept, breaking success down into categories can go a long way in helping you to feel clear about your goals.

– So, ask yourself: What would make me feel like I’ve succeeded professionally?

Be specific and plan it out. Apply for that job. Take that advanced course you’ve been meaning to take forever. Go for it! Most often than not, it’s only you who’s standing in your own way to greater things.

– On to the second question: What would make me feel like I’ve succeeded financially?

Maybe it’s getting out of debt, taking your business to the next level, or finally improving your relationship with money and learning how to budget properly. Getting clarity on what financial success is to you is extremely important, because when you learn how to handle your income and savings, you’ll be able to pursue whatever other activities your heart and soul want in a calm state of mind.

Overnight success just doesn’t happen. Getting financially fit will allow you to have access to the tools and skills you need to achieve anything you want.

– Finally, ask yourself: What would make me feel successful in my own personal life?

What makes your heart sing? From cooking a new dish to learning how to play a musical instrument or hosting a monthly friends-only gathering, do whatever will make you feel great. Don’t worry if your goals sound small and your dreams don’t seem as big as someone else’s; life’s greatest moments are in the little things.

On the contrary, don’t put yourself down if your goals seem impossible. Remember that a lot of things wouldn’t get done if it weren’t for the big thinkers and dreamers out there.

Whatever your goals are, please keep in mind that it’s not their size that will make you feel successful. What will give you that sense of accomplishment is the knowledge of what you truly want and the journey towards achieving it.

2. Challenge your mindset.

Don’t let limiting beliefs hold you back. Challenge your negative thoughts and tune in into a helpful mindset instead.

Psychologist Carol Deck has written about the growth mindset. “Channeling into the growth mindset” means believing in the idea that intelligence, character, creativity and opportunities don’t come in fixed amounts. Each person has the ability to nourish and grow all these wonderful things because such human characteristics are dynamic.

Imagine taking the bumps in the road as little challenges that will give you the opportunity to grow as a person. That can really change your outlook towards life.

Having a growth mindset means that you can learn how to succeed at whatever you want. So forget about the “I’ve never been good at…” or “I’ve always wanted to but I don’t think I can” way of thinking. You can continue to develop and improve your personality, just like pretty much every other trait.

Next time you catch a limiting thought blocking you, challenge yourself and tune in into the growth mindset perspective instead. We humans have the ability to learn and create without limit. Take advantage of that.

3. Invest in yourself.

Without a doubt, the best investment you’ll ever make is in yourself. Once you’re clear about what you want, make an investment. You know things won’t magically happen. Leaving the course of your life to blind luck will – at the very least – significantly decrease your chances of succeeding.

Invest money in yourself, whether you take courses, read books, change your look, get coaching, or whatever else you decide on. If it’s well thought-out and the desire for it comes from deep within you, it will pay off.

Invest time in yourself. Stop procrastinating and go after your hopes and dreams. Handle it the best way you can and it will always pay off.

To invest in yourself means that you believe in your life’s project. Take that leap.

It’s time to put it all together now.

You’ve identified specific things that would make you feel successful in three main areas of your life: professional, financial, and personal. Review your answers and see if some things overlap, checking for any patterns that may appear. Use all the information you can and (yes, you’ve guessed it) redefine success.

Be honest: are you ready to step out and live the life you know you’re meant to?

A good way to start is to redefine what success is to you.

Don’t forget – that very definition you’ve created can change over time, too. People change and so do goals. Don’t be afraid to redefine success any time you need to, just make sure that when you do so, it comes from a loving and adventurous place.

Once you really know that you don’t have to follow one else’s path but your own, you’ll see how things start getting clearer.

Only one question remains: How are you going to spend your life?

Being stuck (whether it’s in a dreadful routine, a toxic relationship, or unhealthy habits) manifests differently for everyone, but it doesn’t go unnoticed. Slowly but surely, you start feeling bored, anxious, frustrated, and even empty among many other equally unpleasant feelings. In other words, if you’re stuck, you know it… even if you can’t bring yourself to admit it out loud.

You need to free yourself from that feeling, because the longer you stay caught in that web, the harder it’ll be to get out of it.

Feeling stuck often happens when you either don’t have a clue about what to do with your life, or when you know exactly what you want, but you don’t quite know how to make it happen. These may seem like opposite reasons, but actually, they both come from the same place: fear and insecurity.

When you start listening to fear’s little voice inside your head that only reminds you of your failures and flaws, it starts taking over. Turn its volume down and do everything you can to ignore it.

Fear and other feelings of inadequacy have a purpose; they try to protect us from outside danger. It’s completely normal to have those feelings… but you’ve got to know when to listen and when to move on. Don’t let fear and insecurity keep you stuck.

Of course, all of this is much easier said than done. Here are five steps you can take to build yourself up and get unstuck.

1. Change your perception.

Honestly, you might not even be as stuck as you think you are. Things can get us down, but at the end of the day, we have to remind ourselves how lucky we are and how much we have. Dedicate some time every day to this activity.

You can start right now. Go ahead and count your blessings. Start by being grateful for everything we usually take for granted: being alive, having a roof over of our heads and a bed to sleep on. Then, move on to other things like having people who care about you. List everything you can think of and that you are genuinely grateful for.

Gratitude is a proven way to make you feel relaxed. It changes your perception by making you focus on what you have instead of what you don’t.

2. Take care of your personal and financial well-being.

Once you’re stuck, it becomes awfully easy to lose yourself because you don’t have enough energy or motivation. Don’t let this happen. You deserve to take care of yourself.

Make sure you sleep and eat properly and never self-medicate. Taking care of your well-being is a sign of self-love and confidence. Don’t neglect your body and mind. You owe it to yourself.

Evaluate your financial well-being as well. All sorts of other problems stem from financial issues, so it’s very important that you know how to be financially fit. This will really give you some much-needed peace of mind.

If you don’t already know, learn how savings and investment accounts work and get yourself acquainted with some basic economics. Take care of yourself in all areas. You’ll be thankful for it.

3. Do something productive… now.

Start with something small like going for a walk, cleaning up, or simply getting out of your pajamas and putting on your favorite outfit. Don’t wait for a special occasion… after all, what could be more special than taking care of yourself?

Once you’ve done a seemingly small but productive task, do something you enjoy but that also challenges you. Get that recipe right, call that old high school friend just to catch up, paint, draw, color, make a donation to a charity of your choice, create a blog… there are endless possibilities.

Being productive takes your mind away from fear and speculation, and at the same time, it helps you to get things done. Start with something small (or big, if you’d like) but please start now.

No excuses allowed.

4. Practice some introspection.

Everything happens for a reason. Why are you feeling this way? What is it that you’re really craving?

Introspection doesn’t have to be hard if you do it your way, and it’ll help you get to the root of your problems. Do anything that resonates with you and allows you to get to know your inner thoughts and feelings. Maybe it’s chanting some mantras, practicing yoga, or having an “enjoy the silence” moment in the middle of your day. It’s up to you.

Give yourself the time to practice some introspection so that you’re able to hear the other “voices” within you, and not just the mean, fearful one.

Whatever it is that gets you in that soul-searching mood, make sure to challenge yourself and try to see the same issue from several points of view. When you’re stuck, it’s extremely hard to look at things from different perspectives. Challenge yourself and realize that neither your actions nor your thoughts have to be black and white. There are always more options.

5. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Comparing yourself to others will leave you feeling exhausted. If you’re constantly thinking about what others do and measure your own triumphs in comparison to theirs, you’re going to remain stuck.

Why? By picturing others happily achieving their goals and becoming successful, you’re chasing an unattainable idea of perfection. Do not confuse someone’s social media profile or magazine cover pictures with their entire lives. There’s no such thing as perfection, and we all make mistakes.

When you stop comparing yourself to others, you’ll feel free to live your own life and follow your path at the pace you’re supposed to.

If taking a peek into someone else’s life inspires you, then by all means, go ahead and use it to motivate you. But otherwise, avoid the all-too-common comparison game. It’s not easy, but it is necessary for your happiness.

It is possible to get unstuck. Follow these steps and make the wise decision to believe that you can improve your life.