personal growth

Do what you love.

When you do something you truly love, you’re bound to give it your best. It is our opinion that people should strive to do the things they love, follow their passion, and always be in tune with their core desires.

To achieve this, it’s necessary to get to know oneself and fight against other people’s expectations if necessary.

There are too many people who don’t make time for their needs or are hesitant to even acknowledge them because they want to please others.

Sometimes what we love is not really what (we think) others want for us, and sadly, that stops us from even trying. Most of the time, those expectations are well intentioned, but we should strive to do what we love. That way, we’ll be fulfilled, and inevitably, those who surround us will notice.

However, other people’s expectations aren’t always the reason we don’t follow our passions.

Sometimes, what’s really holding us back from living the life we want are negative, repetitive thoughts — usually driven by fear and self-doubt.

If this is you, please stop and believe in your self-worth. Take action as soon as possible. We’ve said it once and we’ll say it again: invest in yourself. Whether it’s improving your health, your overall life, or properly managing your finances, consider it an investment and do it as an act of love to yourself.

Imagine you just bought the house of your dreams. You hire the best designer, and the house ends up looking picture perfect. It’s the gem of the neighborhood. However, a mistake in the foundation was left unnoticed, and now it’s starting to affect the house from the inside out.

This is kind of what happens when we just focus on our outside appearance, trying to build a perfect image of ourselves to please others instead of nurturing and evaluating our own foundation.

That’s why we need to invest in ourselves first. Taking care of our emotional, physical, and financial needs is the foundation that will allow us to find and do what we love. Every single one of us is gifted in one way or another.

Give yourself permission to use your gifts and enjoy what life has to offer.

Aspire to do what you love and enjoy your journey.

What if doing what you love is not always possible? You do have another choice: Loving what you do.

We can wake up tired and defeated, or we can try everything in our power to make the most out of our days.

From the very moment we wake up, there are a ton of choices that consciously or not, we have to make, and the average of those tiny decisions not only piles up but also has the capacity to make or break our whole day.

We can either complain about stuff or find the silver lining in every cloud. We can take our family for granted or be thankful for the ones we’ve got. We can focus on our material possessions or take a couple of minutes to appreciate the wealth in our lives. We can worry or we can do something and start either coming up with solutions or asking for help.

We can choose to love what we do.

And if we love what we do, we’ll end up doing what we love.

This isn’t about conformity or mindless optimism; it’s about realizing that every coin has two sides, and most of the time, we’re capable of finding joy, inspiration, and new paths just by flipping that coin.

Why focus on everything that’s not under our control when the things we actively have a say in can make an impact in our lives?

During hard times, it’s easy to become bitter. You have two choices at this junction in your life.

You can become bitter, or you can become better.

Let’s face it; bitterness is often an easier road.

It’s easier to sit and feel sorry for yourself. It’s easier to dwell on the negative things about yourself and your life. It’s easier to allow yourself to sink into despair. Most of all, it’s easier to seek the attention you’ve lost by encouraging others to pity you. Eventually though, others lose interest.

Alternatively, you can choose to become better. Becoming better is a far healthier option.

Becoming better is a great way to toss back the curve ball life has thrown you. Becoming better means seizing the opportunity for change. Becoming better means welcoming a new you.

With a new you, you can rebuild your life

Starting over has so many benefits. Today is the perfect day to begin. You’ve spent the past years wearing shades of gray, now it’s time to embrace color.

Release any regret over former mistakes; embrace the life lessons they taught you.

Going through hard times is not a setback; it’s an opportunity.

Assess what you like about your life and what you want to change. Compromise no longer rules you. All those things you denied yourself are still there. You can have them. Nothing is holding you back.

You have a clean slate.

Make over your attitude

Don’t waste time dwelling on the past

Let go of the past. Slash negativity from your thoughts. Just because others disappointed you doesn’t mean you have to let their actions drag you down. Turn negatives into positives by focusing on what you’ve learned.

Choose to forgive those who have hurt you. Although they did not have the right to hurt you, dwelling on the things they’ve done will only hold you back.

You don’t need to talk to them to forgive them. You don’t owe them that. They will have to come to terms with what they’ve done on their own—that’s not your issue.

But you do owe yourself the opportunity to move forward.

Remember, forgiving does not mean forgetting; it only means releasing any bitterness that restrains you.

Once you make a conscious decision to be better, you can shed the negativity of the past. Gone are the destructive and depressing thoughts that have long held you hostage. Over time you will become a new person.

Celebrate the chance for a do-over

Use positive thoughts to chase away the negative ones.

Write out your hopes and dreams. The future is yours. Be thankful you finally have an opportunity for a do over.
If you find yourself struggling, smile. Yes, that’s right, smile. Smiling helps you keep your momentum. Smile through the tears. Smile through the pain. Whatever you do, keep smiling. It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown. Studies show the act of smiling actually makes you feel better.

Treat yourself to new things

Indulge yourself. You took care of everything for so long you forgot how to live on your own.

Give yourself permission to do what you want to do. Gone are the days when you had to worry about someone else’s opinion.

Change your wardrobe. Try new make up. Have a yard sale and get rid of your old stuff. Then, go buy new things. Select only the things that make you feel good about yourself.

Try new things

Make a list of everything at which you excel. There are more than you think. Include the small things. Are you good at gardening? Can you cut an amazing snowflake out of a piece of paper? Are you a good friend? Write down the things you would like to be good at but never had the time for, and then figure out how to get there.

Find new hobbies. Start by listing the things that have made up your daily routine. Replace that list with a list of things you want to try. It’s that simple.

Get moving. Take a class you’ve always wanted to take. Introduce yourself to new people. Spend quality girl time going out for coffee, lunch, or dinner.

Mix things up. Avoid things and routines that were part of your previous life. They might spark haunting memories. Today is only the here and now.

Make over your surroundings

Do that one thing you’ve always wanted to do to your home. You know what I’m talking about. Repaint. Redecorate. Move furniture. Toss that ugly couch. You’ll find it freeing to finally make those changes you’ve always wanted.
Change rooms around and change your bedding. In fact, change your bed. Move into another bedroom, or move the furnishings around in the room that you’re in. It’s amazing how much impact this one simple step can have.

Make over your finances

Now is your time to shine. Rebuild your credit one account at a time. Focus on learning to budget by writing out your goals, and your dreams. Keep a journal to track your spending.

Decide on your financial goals.

Then, make it happen. Celebrate your small victories by rewarding yourself. Hot fudge sundae anyone?

Focus forward

When you focus on the bitter, you inhibit your ability to enjoy life. Forgive the past and remember that without this experience you wouldn’t be the woman you are today. Instead of being angry, be thankful for the fresh start. Today you can do anything you want.

You’re in charge.

It’s great to set goals and plan for the future because it gives us clarity and something to fight for. From the right perspective, goals are like fuel that makes us run and get to our dream destination.

But we often forget that we have to start that journey now, in the present. Otherwise, those goals would stay far away in some kind of dreamland.

Nobody knows what the future holds, so it’s right now, this very moment, that gives us the opportunity not only to look forward to the future but also to enjoy the journey.

True, we can’t completely control what’s yet to come, but we can control our habits. Creating (and sticking to) healthy habits will help us close the gap between what we have and what we want.

This is all about taking action in the present moment, so without further introduction, let’s get to it.

Here are 10 healthy habits that will improve your life.

1. Move around.

This is an oldie but goodie. Just about every list of healthy living or “how to be happy” guide encourages you to exercise frequently. And it’s true. Our bodies are meant to move. So if you don’t workout already, just stand up and stretch more frequently, or create a list with your favorite songs to dance to. Movement and exercise are proven health and mood boosters. Physical activity is definitely a great way to improve your life.

2. Get out more.

Outdoor activities are fun, usually involve physical effort, and give us a chance to live different experiences. Granted, having lazy days is great, and there’s really no reason why you shouldn’t have them. However, staying in every day can lessen your creativity and make you cranky. Always try to incorporate outdoor activities that make you want to jump of the sofa at least twice a week.

3. Make your bed.

This might sound strange, but making your bed and your bedroom a clean, inviting space can actually make you sleep better. Studies have proven that a well-made bed is an important part of the sleep process. Good sleeping habits are so important for one’s health, this simple little trick turns out to be an essential habit for our wellbeing.

4. Limit your social media time.

No surprise here, right? Social media offers us a chance to connect with loved ones and limitless information, but let’s not kid ourselves — it can just as easily lead us into a hole of procrastination and comparison games that results in hours of just scrolling through meaningless images. In order for you to focus on your goals, setting a specific amount of “social media time” is a great habit that’ll give you more time to yourself.

5. Do first things first.

Forget about multi-tasking! Give your all to the things you want to do. Concentrate and do the best you can. Whether you achieve the expected results or not, you’ll still have a sense of fulfillment if you know deep down that you really tried to conquer something. Why wouldn’t you give 100 percent of your attention to the things that matter to you? Prioritize and act accordingly. A handy little trick to this is to pick the most important task or chore you have to do, and do it first thing after breakfast. That way, your mind will be less cluttered throughout the day.

6. Meditate.

Meditation is a really powerful tool; it benefits the mind, body, and soul. And one of its greatest qualities is that it doesn’t have to be complicated at all. Although there are many types of meditations, you could just opt for closing your eyes and practicing some deep, conscious breathing. If you want to set the mood, you could buy an aromatherapy candle and put soothing music on. Just remember, meditation is a break from the fast-paced, stressful world we live in, so don’t worry about whether you’re using a fancy technique or if you’re doing it right. As long as it helps you unwind, you’ll be fine.

7. Communicate.

No matter who you are, you have people who care about you. Communicate with them. Treasure your friends and family. Sometimes, we can be so caught up doing “urgent” stuff, we forget that relationships and communication don’t grow all of a sudden; we need to take care of them. Make the habit of keeping in touch with the people who care for you and whom you care about.

8. Keep track of your finances.

Having financial instability is a common source of anxiety and frustration, and that obviously takes a toll on your overall health. Keeping track of your finances is not only a smart habit that can make you become (or continue to be) financially independent, but it’s also good for your health and relationships. If you’re currently struggling with your finances or have been in that position, you know how frustrating it can be. Don’t wait any longer; take control of your economic situation.

9. Get comfortable with yourself.

You’re never truly alone if you learn how to be comfortable with yourself. Learn to enjoy quiet moments in your own company, and your mood will improve. Become friends with yourself, and you’ll see a difference in your life.

10. Reward your efforts.

This is the habit that will make you stick to other habits: reward yourself. You don’t have to practice all these habits at the same time; tackle them one by one and give yourself an A for effort.

Let’s say you went jogging three days in a week. You could take the sour route and think about how you could have gone jogging every weekday if you had just woken up a little earlier — or you could take the encouraging route and congratulate yourself because you actually did something good for your mind and body when you could’ve just stayed in bed.

Don’t be perfect. Nobody is. Focus on your efforts and reward them. That’s how you stick to good habits.

The people that surround you influence you in more ways than you may know. From inside jokes to how you react to challenging situations, the opinions and moods of those around you matter more than we might realize.

Having a group of close friends who care about you is a great safety net that can allow you to face challenges with confidence.

Friendships provide support, respect, kindness, and even hard truths when they’re needed. Plus, good friends can improve your health. Several studies have shown that social support helps people cope with a wide variety of issues including stress, depression, grief, and unhealthy habits.

It’s no secret that when you spend more time around certain people, you might start to act, talk, and think like them.

This doesn’t mean that you’ll lose your individuality, but at the end of the day, you’ll acquire some traits of those who you spend a lot of time with. Of course, your friends will pick up some of your traits as well. This is why it’s important to be around people that you like and admire—people who really hold your best interest at heart.

This is a two-way street, though! Friendships are as much about giving as they are about taking. Maintaining a balance is important.

So, who are your kind of people?

What type of crowd do you like to hang out with? If you’re not sure how to answer that, think about a close friend and name three things that you like about them. Chances are, the things you like about your close friend are things you would like about other people, too. You can use those traits to find the kind of people that are right for you.

In order to make sure that you create healthy friendships with others, you should choose to spend time with good-hearted people who value their time and relationships.

For strong friendships, build your own safety net while forming part of someone else’s at the same time.

When you surround yourself with true friends, you will add more fun, support, and meaning to your life.

Keep in mind, though, that being around like-minded people doesn’t mean finding an identical copy of yourself. You’ll never find someone exactly like you, and it’s okay if you don’t share all of your interests or if you don’t agree all the time.

Like-mindedness means sharing core values, like honesty and determination, and respecting each other’s uniqueness. These traits are extremely important in a worthwhile relationship. With a safety net of strong, healthy friendships, you will always have a sense of security and support through the good times and the bad.

When Friendship Turns Toxic

Once you create a network of friendships, it’s important to remember that your work doesn’t end there.

All relationships require time and energy from everyone involved.

Sometimes, relationships will take unexpected turns. Instead of enjoying the security and support that a friendship can offer, you might realize that your friendship has taken a wrong turn. Maybe your friendship feels filled with drama or you find yourself feeling upset when interacting with that friend.

If you often feel unappreciated, guilty, worried, or any other type of negativity in your relationship, you could be dealing with a toxic person.

If you suspect your friend might be a toxic person, here are some common warning signs to look for:

– They feel the need to always be right and will not move on until you agree with them.
– They try to control and manipulate your actions and feelings.
– They make you feel guilty or doubt your own decisions (often by insisting that they are the victim no matter what the situation).
– They don’t take responsibility for issues in the relationship or their own mistakes.
– They focus on negativity in all things.

Toxic people may have a painful history or other reasons behind their actions, but there is no excuse for treating others poorly.

If you find yourself spending time with a toxic person, try to create boundaries and distance between you and the toxic person.

Protecting yourself is important. However, not every conflict means that you’re dealing with a toxic person. Everyone makes mistakes, and sadly, everyone will end up getting hurt or hurting someone one time or another, even if it’s an accident. That’s just part of being human. It’s important to reflect on your actions and to improve yourself, but you shouldn’t expect perfection from anyone, not even yourself.

As is the case with most of the topics we discuss, manipulation also happens when dealing with finances.

Toxic behavior can exist in so-called “financial advisors” who make their clients feel ashamed and uncomfortable and force them to make risky monetary moves or invest in something they don’t want.

When the client wants out, these advisors use guilt to convince them to stay. In a case like this, nobody wins. The client loses financial stability, the “advisor” loses respect, and both lose valuable time.

Someone that cares for you won’t guilt you of force you into anything.

Pay close attention to the warning signs of toxic relationships, and if you happen to be around toxic people, create a healthy distance and move on.

It is possible to find people who add to your life instead of subtracting from it. Cherish those healthy relationships if you have them, and make an effort to find them if you don’t.
You’re in charge of your life.

You have the power to influence people through your actions and words, and you get to decide how you should be treated. You should show them what’s okay and what’s not in your book.

Be with your kind of people and enjoy life.

We all have a vision of our ideal self—an image of the perfect life. It’s different for everyone.

Some want to explore nature and reconnect with Mother Earth. Others want to impact people’s lives through artistic work, such as creating a painting or writing a novel.  Still others may want the freedom to travel around the world.

Whatever your vision is, it manifests your innermost desires and passions. Don’t ignore it. Don’t let yourself get caught up in mindless distractions. Don’t tell yourself you’re too busy.

Transforming your vision into reality begins with investing time in yourself.

Spoiler alert: It’s worth it.

Author and entrepreneur, Chris Guillebeau, gives us a sneak-peak on what it takes to become a master of one’s vision. In his book Born for This, Guillebeau explores how to create a successful career. According to Guillebeau, successful, fulfilled people have three common traits: joy, money, and flow.

These characteristics can also guide us on how to make our ideal lives a reality.

Question yourself: How are joy, money, and flow demonstrated in your life?

– Joy

Which of your daily activities gives you joy? If this was a no-brainer, great! You’re lucky. But if you struggle to find joy, you must rethink your daily life.

You deserve joy. What can you include in your routine to spark up your day?

You don’t have to make drastic changes. Sign up for dancing lessons. Write a thank you note. Grow flowers or herbs. Take part in your favorite charity. The possibilities are endless. Joy is everywhere. It’s up to you to add more of it to your life.

When you do the small things, joy creeps in to each day.

Doing the things you love will energize you and inspire others to do the same.

Joy starts you down the path to your vision. Imagine what a difference joy can make!

However, the truth is that you don’t have to wait for your vision to become a reality to be happy. Start to appreciate things as they are right now and you’ll be closer to that ideal picture without even noticing it.

– Money

Let’s keep things real. You need financial stability to keep your body and mind healthy.

But you may not yet have it. Money can be an obstacle for many people (and usually they struggle in silence, which puts even more weight on their back). It’s easy to blame money for an inability to do the things you want. While it may be a genuine excuse, it is a fixable one.

If you struggle with money, ask yourself: What can I do to make my vision financially sustainable?

Before you can find fulfillment, you need to get your finances in order. That means getting rid of debt and learning how to manage your income. You need enough money both to live comfortably and save for that inevitable rainy day.

Determination and planning are key to resolving money issues. We’ve found that with some minor adjustments, you easily can improve or fix money problems. If you’re struggling with financial management, we can help.

– Flow

Guillebeau defines flow as the things you do naturally well.  Think about it. What do people compliment you on? What is effortless for you?

The things you do well can underline and shape your vision. When you do something well, you become immersed in the flow of the task. As you fall into the flow, you become more relaxed and confident in yourself and your abilities.

Challenge yourself to find your flow. Bake some treats. Cheer someone up. Choose the perfect gift. Sing on pitch. It doesn’t matter what it is, just let it flow. After you’ve done the activity, take a couple of minutes and think about how it made you feel. Don’t you want these feelings more often? How can you bring flow to your everyday life and activities?

When you test your life by looking for joy, money, and flow, you’ll find your vision. Combining these three characteristics nourishes your soul and polishes your skills and talents. Feeling good about yourself and your capabilities is the key to unlocking the doors that stand in your way.

Tomorrow comes today

Of course there will be bumps in the road. We’re the first to admit that life can get hard. But if you take an active role in mastering these characteristics, you will have the tools to tackle whatever comes your way.

Avoid energy leaks like doing things that bore, stress, or frustrate you. Don’t forget to stop and enjoy the moment. Working on your future now doesn’t mean you should ignore the present.

Make the best of your days. Have fun discovering what the right combination of joy, money and flow feels like for you. You can transform your vision into reality as long as you’re willing to experiment and invest in yourself.

Ditch fear and self-doubt by focusing on what you have and the positive things you’ve contributed.

This is the message we’d like to transmit: it’s possible for you to create the life you want.

Start now. You have more options than you think.
Transform your vision into reality.